A woman who wants to leave her in-laws’ house and stay in a hotel has been backed by social media users.
In a post shared to UK parenting forum Mumsnet, which can be seen here, the woman explained that she and her husband had been invited to stay with her in-laws for two nights, along with their children aged 5 and 9.
Numerous studies have documented the tensions that can exist between a husband or wife and their spouse’s parents. An article published in the journal Evolutionary Psychological Science in March found that both men and women report having “more conflict with their mothers-in-law than with their own mothers.”
In the Mumsnet case, the woman quickly learned that her in-laws had several rules: the children were not allowed to touch the walls or their grandmother’s trinkets, or play card games on any of the tables in case they scratched the varnish.
The whole family was also expected to go to bed at 8 pm and keep the bedroom doors closed and the lights off.
The woman, who posted using the handle LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet, wrote: “Anyway, this was the same time as DS’s [dear son’s] bedtime. Being a 5-year-old boy he’s terrified of the dark and at home, we leave the landing light on when he’s in bed and the door ajar.
“Did this tonight and stepfather-in-law (SFIL) came out and knocked the landing light off then stomped back into the bedroom. DS screamed for me, so I raced back in and comforted him.”
She added: “Thought SFIL probably didn’t realize that DS would be scared, so I turned it back on then realized that their bedroom door was open a good two feet. SFIL came out and said: ‘Actually the landing light has to stay off. We leave our bedroom door open in case the cat wants to come in and the light being on is disturbing to us trying to sleep.'”
The frustrated mother said this “stupid ‘rule'” was the final straw, questioning why the family had been invited to stay at all.
She wrote: “Why the f*** did the ILs ask us so desperately to come and stay at their home if they don’t want to make any adjustments for being here? I know it’s their house but does that mean they should make an unnecessarily unpleasant environment for [their] 5-year-old grandson because it might otherwise upset the bloody cat?”
It took the parents more than an hour to calm down their scared child and get him to sleep. The woman asked if it would be unreasonable to book a hotel room instead of staying for a second night, but admitted her in-laws would likely be “extremely offended.”
Since the woman shared her dilemma on Wednesday, the post has attracted more than 200 responses. The overwhelming majority of commenters backed her stance.
One user wrote: “I would go now. They aren’t hosting you are they, really? Bed at eight and stuff your guests’ comfort? Sod that.”
Another added: “I’d never stay there again, but it’s your decision whether to cut and run on this occasion. Never ever stay there again [in my opinion].”
A third user posted: “Prioritize your child. Just say we are going to a hotel tonight as it took two hours to get DS to sleep last night without the landing light on so to save any problem for your cat we will stay elsewhere.
“We’ve had the same happen with keeping the kids quiet while one slept in the day and early evening due to night shifts, sod that ever again. It just means no one can relax or enjoy any of it, I’m so sorry .”
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