Mom Blasted for Pulling Out Of Trip With Friend Over Last-Minute Party

A user on Mumsnet has been told by users she has every right to be “annoyed” after a close friend canceled on her last minute to attend her sons wife’s birthday party.

In the post, the user wrote: “Friend has just messaged to say adult son is planning a birthday party for his wife that evening, so friend can’t come. Apparently, friend has only just been told. The event is in 2 weeks . I know family is important, upsetting DIL can be a bit of a minefield (although they don’t seem to have that issue here) but AIBU to think that if someone invites you to a party with 2 weeks notice, they’ll have to accept you might have plans.

“Or are parents, even of adult children, not allowed to have plans? Would you have canceled for DIL’s birthday? Should I be all understanding or is it reasonable to let them know I’m not entirely happy with the decision? FWIW it’s quite a niche activity, there’s not someone else who would want to come with me.”

One minute after the original post the first commenter wrote, “Yep I’d be annoyed!”, while the second agreed, “I’d be very annoyed.” The next comment pointed out that, “You’re not being unreasonable to be annoyed but your friend is in a sticky position! I imagine she doesn’t want to cancel you but probably feels like she has to go to DIL birthday for the sake of family relations!”

Another took it a step further writing: “Sadly the fact that she’d rather go to the party than the event with you. At least now you know how little she values ​​going with you.”

Friends argue. Stock Images. “The tendency to cancel appointments at short notice in favor of supposedly better alternatives is referred to as ‘social zapping”.
Getty Images

A 2021 study published in the journal of Personality and Individual Differences suggested that the tendency to cancel plans indicates darker personality traits. “The tendency to cancel appointments at short notice in favor of supposedly better alternatives is referred to as ‘social zapping’…considered it a new trend in Europe,” the study says.

They suggest that the term social zapping refers to the switching between social contacts just as between television channels, ‘channel surfing’ in the US, with the aim to find and choose the best option.

The study continues: “Based on the results, social zappers can be characterized as individuals who tend to make self-serving and/or impulsive short-sighted decisions at the expense of others. Social zapping is a phenomenon of inherent self-interest, where individuals cancel appointments spontaneously (at the last minute) with others to pursue options they deem best for themselves.”

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