Internet Defends ‘Best Friend’ Not Canceling Vacation for Baby Shower

Although they’re meant to be positive occasions, baby showers can lead to a surprising amount of drama. From arguments over gifts to guests stealing the mom-to-be’s thunder, baby showers are second only to weddings for destroying relationships.

One pregnant woman turned to Mumsnet for advice after her best friend booked a holiday at the same time as her baby shower, with users describing her reaction as “OTT” and “unreasonable.”

Posting to the site’s Talk forum on July 22, user AprilRae91 explained that after no one offered to throw her a baby shower, she decided to plan one for herself. She booked a venue for high tea, ordered games, bought decorations and a balloon arch.

“Before booking I messaged everyone directly to ask if they wanted to come and check dates,” she wrote.

“Once they confirmed I made a Facebook event and sent e-invites, everyone rsvpd. I sent a reminder two weeks ago saying we were all booked in.”

However, a message from her best friend turned her plan upside down.

She continued: “Today she messaged me saying ‘Bad news my Mum has booked our holiday for the same week as your shower so we can’t go.

“It sounds like they forgot to check the dates didn’t clash or just didn’t bother.”

A file photo of a pregnant woman looking concerned. Many Mumsnet users felt the woman was overreacting to her friend’s last-minute vacation plans.
AntonioGuillem/iStock/Getty Images Plus

The mom-to-be was devastated that her friend couldn’t attend, especially as she had already paid for their spots.

“She’s my closest friend and I can’t believe she isn’t coming,” she said.

“I don’t understand how they’ve managed to double book one day when I gave so much notice. I would have chosen a different date but they said they were free and it’s too late now.

“I know it may seem trivial and I’m hormonal but I’m really sad about this. If she doesn’t care about celebrating my baby and is happy to mess me around when I’m heavily pregnant I’m obviously not very important to her.”

Mothers and new babies have been celebrated for centuries, with “baby showers” supposedly dating back to the Ancient Greeks and Egyptians. The baby shower as we know it became popular in the US after World War II, when parents were gifted necessities during widespread economic hardship.

Parents today don’t always stop at one shower. According to a survey of Baby List users, the trend has become so popular that 72 percent of moms-to-be had multiple parties, whether thrown by friends, family members, or co-workers.

Most Mumsnet users felt the woman was overreacting to her friend’s faux pas.

“It’s unreasonable to expect someone to prioritize your baby shower over their holiday,” said Fiiiivegoldenrings.

TidyDancer agreed, writing: “She’s missing an afternoon tea, it’s obviously important to you but you can’t expect her to skip a holiday for it and I definitely wouldn’t see it as an indication that you’re not important to her. “

While SpidersAreS***heads commented: “Crying through the night as your friend can’t make it due to a holiday sounds more than a bit OTT for an occasion that lots of women don’t even bother with.”

However, some users were sympathetic to the woman’s feelings.

“That sounds disappointing,” said Rodion. “Does she realize you’d spent money on her place?”

“She was wrong,” Momtotwokids wrote. “You gave her more than enough time and a friend unless an idiot can check dates before booking anything.”

If you have a similar family dilemma, let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.

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